Sunday, 28 March 2010

Mead


Like most folks Pagans enjoy a good adult beverage from time to time. But Pagan culture dictates that not just any beverage will do. No swilling of Budweiser for these unwashed masses, no sir. Give them Harp and Guinness at the very least (they are so very Celtic, after all,) or if you really want to make a Pagan happy -- and drunk -- hand them a pint of mead.

"Mead?" You ask. "Like college ruled paper?" Not at all my friend. Mead is an ancient type of wine made from honey. It was exceptionally popular among the Nordic tribes, and has gained a notable following among Pagans due in part to its popularity at Renaissance Festivals. If you have an Asatru friend he is required to make you drink mead if you express the concern that you have never done so before. This qualification is on pain of his entry into Valhalla.

Advanced Pagans often attempt to homebrew mead, as it allows them to add special herbs and other ingredients that add to the mystical allure of the sweet golden drink. Should you be presented with a bottle of this questionable homemade beverage it is considered poor form to spit your sample of the ground screaming, "For the love of Hecate, what is that ungodly swill?" Rather, a noncommittal grunt of approval is all that is required.

Pagans may become mead snobs, extolling the virtues of a Royal Polish blend to the grocery store variety. Mead makers are savvy to this and have gone so far as to market their meads under names like Viking's Blood and Camelot.

A good Pagan can drink their body weight in mead. You have probably noticed Pagans with large cast iron cauldrons in their yard filled with petunias. This is a ploy to disguise the true use of these containers, which is to quaff mead from. Drinking mead is always seen as a sacred act, even when the drinker is so many sheets to the wind that they cannot stand up. Partaking is mead is considered an inner libation to the Gods. I'll leave you to speculate on the holiness of mead that the body has processed.

2 comments:

  1. I'm not much for Alcohol, so when my husband makes us a special dinner he usually buys Mead because it's sweeter. I might be a stereotypical Pagan for it, but I still like it lol.

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  2. Spot-on. Don't forget the gallons of honey lost each year by first time "Home-brewers" when the seals on their bottles explode from built-up, unreleased air pressure.

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