Monday, 29 March 2010

Herbal Remedies

Although their festivals and worldview are often based on agricultural growth cycles very few Pagans can grow much of anything other than a houseplant. This makes the growing and use of herbs seem especially mystical. Pagans use herbs for everything from spices for food to ingredients for spells.

Should you be feeling under the weather you can ingratiate yourself to your Pagan friends by asking them for a herbal remedy. They will usually present you with some foul smelling dried herb that they want you to steep in hot water to make a tea from. You need not feel obligated to actually make said tea, rather take the herbs home, see if your cat is interested in them and if not throw them out. Go seek medical advice from an actual doctor and thank your friend later for their "wonder cure."

Pagans often burn herbs in their homes as incense to "cleanse" the area. You should never draw attention to the fact that they are actually polluting their air with smoke rather than cleaning anything.

If you are looking for a gift for a Pagan friend and mead is out of the question consider purchasing them a "grow your own herbs" kit. It is universally understood that all Pagans believe that they would make excellent gardeners if given enough free time and space. Rest assured that your gift will be treasured in its original packaging for years to come.

Advanced Pagans are noted for their extensive collection of herbal tea. You will note that when your local Pagan group has its regular moot at a coffee house at least one Pagan will make a fuss about enjoying tea rather than coffee. This is a display of social dominance, and earmarks the person in question as an Advanced Pagan. Do not attempt to engage the Advanced Pagan in a discussion about tea unless the moot is insufferably dull and you would like it to be even more so.


  1. LoL.. nice! I especially loved the last paragraph! What is it with local Pagan groups and their moots at coffee houses? That was such an Ordo Graecia thing at first. =p

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